Kindness at KSDS – That’s How We Are Made!

During the “nosh” before the Friday night service at our KSDS Welcome Back Shabbat family evening in early September, I noticed a younger child crying and upset – it seemed that the type of chips that she wanted from the table had no bags left, and none of the remaining options would satisfy what she was looking for. Very quietly, without any fanfare or big “to do,” a middle schooler came over to the younger child and handed her the middle schooler’s chips – the very kind the younger child had wanted. The middle schooler was not asked to do this. She was not prompted or cajoled. She simply saw another person with a want that she could help satisfy, and she did so. She saw another person upset, and selflessly acted to make someone else happy.

Now, I could say I was amazed by what the middle schooler did.

Except, I wasn’t.

Impressed, yes.

Proud, yes.

Appreciative, of course!

Surprised or amazed? Nope.

Because, that’s what we do at Krieger Schechter. That’s who we are. At Krieger Schechter, that’s how we are MADE! (see below for explanation…!)

KSDS is a school that explicitly teaches values of kavod (respect), derech eretz (polite, considerate behavior) and overall menschilchkeit (yiddish for, well, just acting like a human being should). Jewish values-based teaching is part of our daily Bo’u N’Daber social/emotional curriculum. Torah and literature study are used to delve into the choices that characters make in stories to illuminate role models and to point out examples not to emulate. Daily interactions among our students – which of course, are not always perfect, utilize mistakes and missteps as learning opportunities. When our kids make less-than-ideal choices (they are kids and that will still happen!) we engage them in deeper conversations about how our shared values help us make better decisions in the future (and of course, are also handled with disciplinary steps when warranted to emphasize the importance of these values).

Two new initiatives at KSDS this year are shining a spotlight on our values of kindness, consideration, respect, inclusion, and politeness. In the Lower School, students are encouraged to notice when their peers act in a way that shows their Mitzvot and Derech Eretz – hence, the slogan of the program – “At KSDS, that’s how we are MADE!” When students see their peers doing something kind, thoughtful, polite, helpful, or more, students can fill out a “MADE” slip in their classroom. Each week, we will highlight for the entire Lower School the types of behaviors that showed how our students are MADE that week – focusing our praise on the variety of ways to act with derech eretz, and creating modeling opportunities for all of our students. Similarly, in the Middle School, students are encouraged to place descriptions of kind and praiseworthy actions on our “Mazels and Mensches” bulletin board. By helping middle school students to widen their perspectives, to see how others act with thoughtfulness, we make positive behavior choices a valued norm every day. Through both the LS and MS programs, students are focusing not only on their own choices, but are taking the time to look beyond themselves and appreciate the good in others – a key component of a supportive community.

So, you are asking, how can we as parents help support these endeavors outside of school? Feel free to adapt the KSDS approaches for ways that work for your family. Create a place where family members can positively “call out” the kind choices that each other makes. Celebrate the behaviors and the ways we help each other every day. When your children get in the car at dismissal, have your first question to them be, “How did you help someone today?” “How were you kind today?” That first question each day tells your children what you think is most important to hear about from the time they were acting independently from you during the school day. This daily reminder of the importance of kindness and help to each other begets more kindness and help to each other. The positive possibilities are endless…!

We know that there are many reasons parents choose to have their children and families be part of the Krieger Schechter Day School community. Thank you for joining us in the sacred endeavor to help our students grow in their character and values.